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Little Miss Clackamas
ring Thank you for calling the downtown Portland Shutterbug, this is Shawn, how may I help ya? Shutterbug Shawn? Yep. This is Emilio. How you doing? Not too bad. Good. What's going on, what can we help you with? I'm looking to pixelate 35mm film. So you wanna scan it? No, just, you know, right outta the box. I got uh, an assignment to, uh, photograph the Little Miss Clackamas Pageant comin' up this weekend. So can you hel-''' What was that? '''I got assigned to Little Miss Clackamas, Shawn. Mhm. And I'm the go to ''photographer, I'm like, kinda, ''the guy. So... Okay...Whaddya, what it, what are you looking, what are you, whaddya, whaddya, whaddya, so you're shooting this event so whaddya, what are you, what service are you looking for from us? Well, it's Little Miss Clackamas. Mhm. I'm comin' outta Baker City, and one of the contestants, she's a lil gal named Britney. And she wants it to be filmed, but to look pixelated, and her mom's pretty adamant about the whole deal. Well, I don't...what you could do is, you know, you could get it digitized, um, when you get it developed, just get it put to a CD. If you want it...look like pixelized, you could just lower the resolution. We're talkin' about film, here, fella! That's what I said, was, at the time of development you can get it scanned to a CD. Shawn, maybe you didn't hear me the first time around, but we're talkin' Little Miss Clackamas, here. It's kind of a big deal. Well, I'm, you know, you want it to look pixelized, you know, that's one of doing it. Scanning the film and to make it digital. If that's what you're looking to do. Have you ever been to Little Miss Clackamas? I'm sorry, I have not. Well, there's a four year old flautist out there by the name of Sally May. She plays the flute like somebody four times her age. Oh, she's phenomenal. She also happens to be 210 pounds. It's just a special event, all the way around. Okay, I'm not quite understanding what, what, what you're, what services that you're wanting. I'm not, I'm kinda confused on, you know, I, what, what, what, what, what you're interested in doing. Wel-''' I understand that you're shooting Little Miss Clackamas. You know, we're a photography store, and you wanna do it on film. And I understand that you want it to look pixelated. My idea was to convert it to film. Does that sound like in the ballpark of what you wanna do? '''Yeah, and I was hoping maybe you could, maybe look into my mouth. I feel like I have something stuck in teeth, and I, there's nobody else around, my neighbors are all outta town. I-I, I'm sorry, I-I, I-I don't understand what you're wanting us to do. You know, this is an odd...You're just, like, wha-, I-I don't understand the conversation. Just, like, that I understand that you're shooting Miss, Little Miss Clackamas. And the first thing you said, that you're shooting on film and you want it to look pixelated, and, and that was my solution. You know, does that sound right that you want it, that digitizing it to make it look pixelized would work for you? But I've got the sensation as if there's something stuck in my teeth, and would you consider looking in my mouth? Maybe with a high resolution photography machine? I-I wouldn't, I don't do that. You might wanna go to a dentist to, to, to accomplish that. That has the equipment for inner oral photography. But it's Little Miss Clackamas...sir. I'm, I'm sorry, sir, this conversation is very uncomfortable and I'm going to hang up. What part do you need me to go over again? Okay, I'm, I'm a photography store, what, what are you looking for from...from us? Do you need film? You said you're shooting film. I have Portra 100, I have, Port, er, Portra 400, 160, 800, that would be great to shoot Miss...Little Miss Clackamas. So, I understand. So, you're lookin' for free tickets, for comped tickets-''' I'm- -'''to Little Miss Clackamas. I'm not, I'm not looking, I'm, you called me to ask me about photograph stuff for your ability to shoot Little Miss Clackamas. And you're lookin' for free tickets, is that it? Well, you know, I-''' I-I, I'm not, I'm not looking for tic-Um, sir? '''Yes? I have a customer that just walked in the door, um, you know, if you come in, we can...discuss...whatever...services that you need, um, that we might provide. Our store just got filled up, I need to help other customers that are in the store. Okay, would like me to take a peek inside your mouth? No, I would not. Well, do you need time to think about it? I mean, I've got till tomorro-''' No, I-I, I don't, I'm sorry, sir. I don't need time to think about that. 'Well, I have-' I-I-I have, I have to go, I have other customers to help. click ring Thank you for calling the Shutterbug in downtown Portland, this is Shawn, how may I help ya? '''Hi, Shawn, yeah, I spoke to ya and boy I'm havin' a heck of a time gettin' that pixelated effect, here, with my 35mm film. So, could you work with me on that one, just a, just a skosh? Well, if you want to accomplish a pixelated image, you gonna have to get your filmed scanned to digital. I'm live at an event, you know, I got stuff to pixelate up here. Well, to make it a pixelated look, you're gonna have to do that in post-processing. Just shoot your event, then when you get done, get it scanned to digital because pixelation is not a term that you use for film. You use the term "graininess" for film and that, if you wanted a grainy look, you'd use a high speed film. If you wanted pixelated, it's a similar thing, but it's mainly when you consider something low resolution. It like, makes it kind of cubular, because a pixel is square, not circular. Where grain is kinda circular, but not really, it's just, uh, the texture of silver particles in the film. Okay, now, as I said, I've got this strong sensation in my gum line, uh, that I've got something stuck in my teeth. Now, where do you stand on that? I'm, I'm sorry I'm not going this direction again, sir. If you want to talk to one of my other sales associates, I'm glad to pass you onto them, but I'm not a dentist, I have nothing to do with that. Just take a look, tell me whatcha see. That's not my business. And you're not in front of me, so I couldn't do that anyways. But I'm sorry. Just speculate, then. I'm, I'm not gonna speculate on the health of your gums. I'm, I'm sorry, sir, I'm not. Listen, I don't think you recognize what's at stake for these little gals out here. I'm sorry, sir, um...we could further this discussion if you wanna come in. We can figure out how to pixelate your film, but I'm not a board certified dentist, I'm sorry. How 'bout I pixelate your teeth a couple times, here. Left middle left! Okay, I'm gonna end the conversation here. I'm sorry, you have a good day. click ring Thank you for calling the downtown Portland Shutterbug, this is Shawn, how may I help ya? Shawn, fella, I'm tryin' to work with ya. But we've got a live event, here, and this film just ain't pixelatin'...buddy. Hah! I'm sorry, you can come in and we can figure out exactly what you want, but I don't think there's...Youuuu...I'm either not understanding you or you're definitely not understanding me. I went to college for photography, so I know what pixelation means. You know, it's like...that's my suggestion and that's all I know what to tell you. And I know nothing about Little Miss Clackamas. You're not gonna know where your teeth are when I'm done with ye. I, you know, I don't appreciate you being...vulgar to me. You know, you don't have to say something like that, you know? Like what? What you just laughs You've made it clear you don't care about the contestants here at Little Miss Clackamas, you've made that abundantly clear! You're trying to pixelate something, it's a, you're shooting film and so want to digitize it to make a pixelated look. That's my suggestion. What if I took, uh, the palm of my hand...and just shoved it right into your chin bone? I'm, sir, I am ending the conversation right now. You just threatened me. Oh, come on! I'm not, I'm ending the conversation. I've gone to college, and I graduated. click